i am here while my mind is really not enjoying this experience - constantly tempting and persuading me that what it has to say is fucking important. It's telling me things about other people, telling me things about myself - things that i would like to hear or things I hate and resist hearing about. Until i am clear within myself on all these issues of good vs bad, love vs hate i am bound to fall into these thought patterns. It's good to be faced with something very atrocious thus shocking the m… Continue

I don't know what to write about in this blog.

Trusting myself in every moment. Being specific and patient when experiencing lack of stability and understanding. Instead of being scattered all around I concentrate myself within one point of just being here by becoming aware of my breath. Thoughts become visible and slow down for me to go and see the origin of each and every thought arising. The reason and purpose they have and in seeing that, destroying any need of their existence. Life is simple and needs no reason or purpose to exist, it s… Continue

The specific point that is certainly bothering me is my uncle. I am totally angry with everything he does and says. And I feel very helpless being in this shit. First I have to understand what is he representing of myself that I am so resisting. The whole picture is quite clear but the specificity must be worked out. It’s the point with animal abuse and complete self abdication within the relationship as marriage and family. What I observed is that he has totally and completely suppressed himsel… Continue

I did a video how i am defining myself according to the picture presentation of myself, and right after this video I completely failed to see how i am still continuing to do that even more so. In this video I posted pictures of me and how i shaved my hair to no more define myself as this picture presentation within the definitions of what is beautiful and what is not. However after my head was shaved i started playing with my expressions and in that started defining myself again - an upgraded ve… Continue